All good things must come to an end, and so should this weblog of a little more than two years. I started this when I commenced my journey to and through IMI. And now, when I have bid adieu to my alma mater, I think this blog needs to be closed.

Writing is my passion, and I can never see myself not writing. As I close this blog, a new window opens. A window to the world hitherto unnoticed. A window to emotions hitherto unknown. A window to life hitherto untouched. A window to art and culture - through cinema, music, literature. A window called Memoriter - Latin for "from memory".

Cheerio!!

It was some 22 months ago ... A nervous young girl all of 21 stepped into the impressive reception of International Management Institute. She had dreams in her eyes - eyes wide with anticipation of what the two years that lay ahead would bring for her. She wanted to make it big. She wanted to be known. She wanted to be acknowledged and accepted. She wanted to rise as an individual. Need I say, she has more than made her mark.

With nostalgia tugging at my heartstrings, I take a stroll down the memory lane of this place I have called home for almost two years now. And time has flew. As I come back home (well, not the hostel room, but home) after having attended the 22nd Annual Convocation - my convocation - a thousand thoughts flit across my mind. Not that I've been through tearful goodbyes or weepy sentimental talks, but the mere fact I spent some of my most cherished moments at IMI.

I have seen it all - promises and heartbreaks, triumphs and fiascos, laughter and tears, glee and pain, love and hatred, camaraderie and envy, passion and avarice, harmony and discord. There is so much I savour. There is so much I revere. There is so much I take pride in. No regrets and no misgivings, however. There is nothing I have lost. There is nothing I have renounced.

Thank you, IMI, for all that you taught me, for all that you gave me, for all that you showed me. I can now proudly proclaim to be an Achiever - the befitting name given to every individual who walks this journey to and through IMI. As a proud alumna (unbelieveable as it may sound to me) of IMI, I vow to give back to my people more than what I acquired here. I shall prove myself worthy of being called a part of IMI, and I shall do so with all my heart.

To my alma mater: Adieu ....

Why does it take a minute to say 'hello', and forever to say 'goodbye'? Though each one of us knew the two-year journey at IMI is nearing its end, it became all the more apparent last night - when the Class of 2007 threw a fond farewell for us, the outgoing batch.

The event started with our Director General Dr. C S Venkatratnam and Registrar Prof. Rajat Kathuria handing over a memento to each student from the outgoing batch. This beautiful moment showed us how special each of us was, and how much pride the institute felt in us. This was followed by a small cultural extravaganza put together by the hosts, including a very memorable 'Mr. and Ms. Senior' contest. The same was won by Garima (incidentally, she was Ms. Fresher too) and Kunal Ghatak. A sumptuous dinner followed, accompanied by freely flowing liquor, and it was time to hit the floor.

An outsider would find the farewell no different from the other bashes that are thrown from time to time, but we knew it was just so special. Yes, we had the same events as always - culturals, dinner, DJ - but it was the last time we'd have them on IMI campus. At least till the Alumni Meet. The night didn't end, it just merged into the morning; and before we knew, it was daylight. Truly one of the best parties I've had on campus, beaten only by the Thanksgiving bash our juniors threw,

Thank you so much, Class of 2007. I'll miss you all ...

This is just so hard to believe. It seems like yesterday when I joined the two-year course at IMI, and today began my last week here. My student life is coming to an end, and I take this moment to recount my trip to Rishikesh recently.

About 51 of us are part of a course called Self Discovery and Personal Growth, or SDPG, which is easily the best course I've ever applied to. It was all about, as the name suggests, introspection. So the classes we had encouraged us to talk about our deepest emotions - for ourself, for those around us, for anything under the sun. And the best part of it was a three-day trip to Rishikesh for the purpose of instilling in us necessary qualities as leadership and teamwork.

We left campus at 11 pm on March 17, and were to return on March 22 at midnight. Our friends who weren't part of the course saw our two buses off, and we arrived at Rishikesh at 7 the next morning. Our campsite was right at the riverside, and we descended a hill to reach it. Temporary arrangements of sanitation seemed to be quite a dampener to the trip, but it was a necessary part of what we called 'adventure'.

Day 1 began with three fun activities post-breakfast. The first was called 'Trust Fall', and required us to jump off a boulder with our friends below to catch us. Mind you, I'd never felt more grateful to my friends before that moment. The next two activities involved team spirit, and were great fun. Lunch followed, and after that was done we were too tired to continue with anything else. So I with a group of friends went trekking back into the village. We returned when night began to fall, and were greeted with our friends holding kerosene lamps - the campsite, after all, had no electricity. A bonfire was lit and we dined besides the cackling fire.

Day 2 dawned bright and cheery, and soon after breakfast we headed off to a mountain for the first activity of the day. 'River Crossing' required us to simulate crossing a river through a rope bridge, only there was no gushing water beneath us. We created the rope bridge between two huge trees, and crossed it in turns. Soon after, it was time for the most awaited of all activities - rafting. Oh!! It was so much fun, especially the rapids and us going right into the water (no less than four times, including once into a rapid). Those hours spent in the Alaknanda aboard a raft are definitely amongst the most memorable times of my life. And I thank our guide Arjun for making it such an unforgettable event. Once we were back to the camp after having coursed the river, we were much too tired to attemot anything else, so we called it a day. We were famished, to say the least, and could concentrate on nothing more than eating (read hogging).

Day 3 began with rock climbing, early in the day since we had to leave for IMI in the afternoon. This was as much fun as rafting, and we had a great time either climbing or watching others climb. The success of the event was duly celebrated with soft-drinks and crisps that the little boy from the kitchens had bought us. Immediately after lunch, we hiked up that hill we'd descended the first day to board our buses. Homeward bound, the bus journey was no less memorable as we screamed ourselves hoarse when playing dumb charades and antakshari.

We reached college at midnight, as per the schedule, and went straight to our beds - tired and worn-out, but so very happy. Undoubtedly, Rishikesh is idyllic, and rafting is pure bliss. The crystal-clear sparkling water and the glittering sands override the scorching heat, and all one sees is Mother Nature at her prettiest.

"I came out of that movie house reeling like a drunkard, drugged speechless, with the film rushing through my bloodstream, pumping and thudding."

This reaction from a viewer just about sums up the effect the Swedish cinematic masterpiece Persona will have on you. A magnum opus from the goodie-bag of Ingmar Bergman, the celebrated Swedish director of highly acclaimed films as "Cries and Whispers" and "The Seventh Seal". Power-packed performances by Bibi Anderson and Liv Ullman (a familiar face in many of Bergman's creations) make the experience more disturbing than entertaining.

Persona is the story of a famous actress Elisabet (Ullman) who, while shooting for The Electra, suddenly decides to stop conversing. She is sent to hospital, but nothing much is done considering she is mentally and physically fit. A nurse by the name of Alma (Anderson) is assigned to care for her. Alma's attempts to persuade Elisabet to speak fail miserably; the actress refuses to utter a single word. The two women move to a cottage by the sea, and that is where they finally begin to get closer. In the solitude their new home offers, Alma bares her soul to Elisabet, sharing with her all she ever wanted to. She talks about the most hideous skeletons she hides in her closet, her turbulent past and the demons that haunted it. Elisabet's silence was the best thing Alma could have asked for, to pour her heart out to someone who did nothing but listen.

But then, something terrible began to happen. A silent hatred also begins to emerge between the two women, sparked by an incident where Elisabet writes to her doctor all she had heard from Alma's confessions. She writes about having enjoyed 'studying' Alma, and that she was amused by the fact that Alma was so 'in love with herself'. There are striking scene where this hatred is shown in a grotesque manner – when Alma does not tell Elisabet about the shard of glass under her foot, and Elisabet indeed steps on it and is hurt. It is almost as if Alma wanted to see her in pain, to make her realise how much her actions had hurt.

As time moves on, Alma finds her identity being fused with that of Elisabet. She idolizes the actress, holds her in awe, sees her as everything she wanted to be. But in all her admiration for Elisabet, she began to live a false life – that of Elisabet. In a scene where Elisabet's husband comes calling for her, she impersonates the actress. Again, when she narrates to Elisabet the story of her estranged son, she does so as if she were talking of her own son. And somewhere, she fails to draw the line between Elisabet's estranged son and her own aborted child  (a haunting incidence from her past). Bergman's portrayal of Elisabet as a psychological vampire is apt, then; she feeds on Alma's very soul and psyche. The shocking scene dedicated to this portrayal shows Alma opening a vein in her forearm and Elisabet putting her lips to it, as if to drink the blood.

The most striking scene is Alma's monologue when she tells the story of Elisabet's estranged son. This scene is shot twice in quick succession. The first time the camera shows Elisabet's face in a close-up shot, and the emotions flitting across her features. The second time the camera starts with a close-up shot of Alma but ends up showing both faces together. Truly a testimony to Bergman's gift with the art of direction, this scene.

Persona is not an easy film to watch. It leaves you disturbed, ruffles many a feather, and brings out the concept of nihilism. It shows how existing in a facade, living a life that is not your own, and going through an identity crisis for your own self, can torment you beyond measure. Alma's anguish comes alive in the film to put across this very message.

In a nutshell, an experience worthy of accolades, even bordering on reverence.

HAPPY HOLI

May the year ahead be filled with a myriad hues of joy, love, luck, smiles, laughs, success and celebrations.

"Fear is a tyrant and a despot, more terrible than the rack, more potent than the snake." So wrote Edgar Wallace in his 1918 crime novel "The Clue of the Twisted Candle". And boy, was he right!

Fear is our most primal emotion, and it is natural human instinct to be wary of the unknown. The unexplained continues to fascinate one and all, while at the same time petrifies. Like a specter in the darkness, like a hazy figure on a misty midnight, the unknown draws us to its vortex and arouses antithetical emotions deep within us. - both trepidation and awe.

We fear that which is beyond our control. We fear that which is unexplained to us. We fear that which is unheard of and unspoken of. It is the absence that plays on our psyche, the anonymity that slowly gnaws upon our insides, the darkness that casts its shadow upon our very being. That is fear.

The key to conquering the primordial emotion that fear is lies in acceptance. Accept that which is unknown, and the battle is already won.

"I must not fear. Fear is the mind-killer. Fear is the little-death that brings total obliteration. I will face my fear. I will permit it to pass over me and through me. And when it has gone past I will turn the inner eye to see its path. Where the fear has gone there will be nothing. Only I will remain."

Join us at IMI on the 4th and 5th of March, 2006 - as we embark on a quest to vanquish the mammoth monster that lurks in the corner of every heart - Fear of the Unknown

"No exorciser harm thee!
Nor no witchcraft charm thee!
Ghost unlaid forbear thee!
Nothing ill come near thee!
Quiet consummation have;
And renowned be thy grave!"

FEAR NO MORE

(changed the date for greater visibilty for the new people i've tagged - this was originally done on 12th feb)

The tagging fervour has caught me, courtesy Nidhi; though I always knew it would have, sooner or later. And what a way to start this chase. Nidhi has asked me to list eight characteristics of my dream lover. So here I go, with not eight but nine such characteristics. Crazy as it may sound, this is what my heart desires (blush, blush).

1. Friendship: Yeah, he has to be my friend first and partner later. Someone who is a true soulmate, however cliched this may seem. I believe friendship overrides all bondings - even those of what we call love. Friends bare their souls to each other, and know each other inside out. Lovers more often than not do not share everything. I want him to share himself with me - his dreams, his fears, his joys, his sorrows, his stresgths, his weaknesses - just like I'll share these with him.

2. Trust: The foundation of any relationship on this planet, trust shall, without a doubt, be the single most important element in our relationship. He must trust me with all his heart, accept that I shall love him with all I have, but also realise I have to share myself with others. There will always be others who are important to me - parents, siblings, children, friends. He will have to trust me with them. My man will never question me unless necessary. He will not demand what I cannot give him. He will, however, not trust me blindly. He will chastise me whenever the need so arises. After all, that is what love truly is.

3. Respect: Sure, this is what every relatioonship demands, regardless of seniority of the other party. I want my man to respect me as me. He should see me as an individual with a separate personality and different thoughts/feelings. This is where the appreciation for each other as a unique identity come in. I am different, I am me. And there's no denying that.

4. Space: After trust, this is what I think is the cornerstone of successful relationships. Every individual has his/her own space which no one, and I mean no one, can invade. I want my man to recognise and regard my space as my own, and give it to me whenever I need. Being committed does not mean one should forego the other relations they might have. It means being able to see them in a new light, with a new perspective and a new attitude.

5. Vivacity: Oh yeah, he must be full of life. I love to live and enjoy every moment, so I expect my man to share the same passion for the miracle called life. He should be someone who believes in having fun even if it makes him look silly for his age. He should be ready to live for the moment, with the realisation that life is too short and there is so much to do. He must love to live and live to love, my man should.

6. Sense of humour: Sure, what is life without smiles and laughter? It is proven that if one has the capability to make others laugh, they can never be in an unsatisfactory relationship. But it also means I want my man to laugh at himself and his follies, at his failures, at his past. For only he who can laugh at adversity can conquer it to emerge triumphant.

7. Love: He must love me - unconditionally. He must love me for who I am, not for who he wants me to be. Love makes the world go round, doesn't it? Apart from loving me, he should also be willing to share his love with those who matter to him and me - together as well as individually.

8. Humility: A virtue lacking in most of today's youth, I feel humility in good measure will make him my true soulmate. If he is humble enough to accept himself as he is, and vow to change himself for nothing but the better; if he is humble enough to realise when he is wrong and duly apologise regardless of who the apology must be directed to; if he is humble enough to not let success, be it his or mine, go to his head - he is my man.

9. Character: The last but most important of them all. He must be a man of character. And I do not see the necessity of elaboration on this.

Well, that just about sums up what I look for in my man. The hunt begins ...

And for those who shall carry this forward, I have: